Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, a day of celebration here in the US.  The fourth Thursday in November.  This first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims and Native Americans sharing a meal and infected blankets.  Albeit true, and needs to be acknowledged, I’m going to focus on a day for giving thanks and being filled with gratitude and sharing the abundance you have with others. 

Many tables will be filled with family and great food or maybe it’s dry and under seasoned.  Tables may be filled with conversations to catch up in each other’s lives or perhaps dancing around political differences or hitting them head on.  Maybe the table has missing family members this year.

Everyone’s Thanksgiving looks a little different.  Your day may start by heading out into cold air to run a race or attend a football game, or you may hunker down in your jammies and watch the Macy’s day parade.

The day might be full. Full of traveling and moving from one location to another.  Full of family, conversation, and laughter.  Full of sweet smells of turkey and pies.  Stuffing the turkey, stuffing ourselves.  Sharing what we are thankful for.  The day might be quiet and quaint.  The day could also be full of family, conversation and laughter and you feel exhausted just thinking about it.  The day could also leave you longing to be with family and friends and it’s not possible.

Thanksgiving has long been one of my favorite holidays.  My traditions and rhythms behind the day have changed along the way.  The way family has looked has changed too.  When I was young my Thanksgivings were small, quaint but filled with happy memories of my grandmother’s house.  As my grandparent’s got older and passed on, traditions and time brought change.  The rhythm changed.  The Thanksgiving table grew, the plate settings grew, the recipes and dishes grew.  I met my husband, we got married and had kids of our own.  This brought new rhythms to our Thanksgiving traditions.  What family looked like changed.  Covid hit and things changed again. 

You may have planned traditions like a football game or a special family dish.  You may not think you have traditions.  In the moment you may not have considered them a tradition (maybe the word tradition makes you cringe), whatever you call it, it’s likely there quietly weaving itself into your memories.  The welcoming special hugs from your grandparents, breakfast cinnamon rolls or casseroles. The teddy bear dishes that someone considered fine China, gramma’s turkey soup, nana’s homemade apple pie.  The traditions may not be intentional, in fact they might be quite loosie goosey, but they are there.

Changes continue to happen and will continue to happen, that’s a natural, organic, part of life.  Family changes, people grow up, people pass on, babies are born, and new traditions will blossom.

Today might be full of people, places, or food.  Your day might be quiet and quaint.  It might be a reservation at a restaurant, that was one year for us.  The thoughts I give to you today, that I remind myself of.  Live in the moment.  Find the joy in today.  Don’t compare yourself to what it’s “supposed to look like”.  What it’s supposed to look like, is what you make it for you and the people you spend the day with.

 However you spend it, wishing you a day filled with joy and creating new memories.

Balance and Self-care

Where have I been?  I made a commitment to myself when I launched the blog to post twice a week. My first blog was posted on Father’s Day.  Throughout the summer I kept that commitment to myself.

My last post was in August. September was a killer where I didn’t keep my personal commitment.  I disappointed myself and I’ve been kicking myself for weeks. I’ve come up with ideas, sat down to write and the words, the theme, the topic just didn’t come. I was so frustrated.  I was tired.

Why was I feeling this way?  Because it was no longer summer. The routine changed.  The summer routine, with late sunsets that left room to breathe were gone in a flash.  The back-to-school routine kicked back in fast and furious. Every moment of the week scheduled. Mornings begin when the alarm goes off at 5:15. I drag myself out of bed and immediately start the routine of making sure the boys get out of the house on-time.  Once they are out the door, shortly after, I begin my workday.  Some days working from home, some days commuting into the office. 

Planning and scheduling are critical to keep every ball in the air, and this isn’t easy. Daily, with each hour that passes, each item I check off the to do list, I add on two more after that.  My corporate job keeps me busy during the day.  The workday ends and the evening routine starts where I change focus to the boys. 

Keeping track of kids’ homework assignments, after school activities, doctors’ appointments, on and on, the list goes.  Who needs to be where and when do they need to be there?  The husband and I divide and conquer. What do the boys need to remember, is it something they need to wear, is it clean?  Is it something they need to bring, like drumsticks or a water bottle.  Reminding them each step of the way.   

I struggle. I struggle to keep up. I struggle to find peace. I struggle to accept that I’m doing enough. I struggle to balance it all.

The day officially winds down anywhere from 8, 9 or 10pm depending on the day of the week. 

The weekends slip by in a blur.

Why am I sharing this?  I know I’m not alone. Mom’s and Dad’s, caregivers alike, all feel like this at one time or another. I write to remind you; I write to remind myself that the sun will set, and the sun will rise. You are doing ok. Cut yourself some slack. Set boundaries for yourself. Take a moment, or dare I say two, for self-care.

The seasons change and with it our approach on how to balance responsibilities with self-care.  The days get short.  Make the time to go for that walk while listening to your favorite playlist or podcast.  Remembering to breathe and stretch your body through yoga practice.  Maybe it’s time to snuggle under a blanket, sip a glass of wine or a hot cup of tea and read a great novel or even write a novel!  Whatever self-care looks like for you, do it, don’t just think about it. Prioritize yourself. You are not alone, and you deserve it.  Your body deserves the break.  Release the stress.  Relax your mind.  Do it for yourself, do it for those around you. 

A Fresh Start…

“…September is the other January—a clean slate, a fresh start, a chance to use new pencils, fresh notebooks, and begin again.”

~Gretchen Rubin

Today was the first day of school.  A fresh start!  As a parent, ahead of time I prepped my boys.  I dutifully printed out the school supply list, physically went into a store and checked the items off the list as I filled up the shopping cart.  I purchased the new underwear, the new socks, the new sneakers, the new backpacks, even the new water bottles.  My goal as a parent is to provide them with all the tools they need, and a handful of items they want, to prepare them for a successful school year.

Last night, we kicked things off with good habits.  Backpacks at the ready, water bottles already filled, clothes set out the night before.  Alarm clocks set.  Bedtime routine instituted, yes, my boys are older, but age-appropriate routines have been set in place. 

This morning went smooth.  Realizing it was the first day of school, it was somewhat expected.  It’s sort of like Christmas morning, but different. 

As I headed to work and sat in meetings all day I though of them often.  What time is it, what are they doing?  I’m not going to lie, the thought briefly passed through my mind, God, please keep my children safe.  Bring them home to me, let there not be a school shooting today.

I was eager to get home and hear all about their day.  On my way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner.  I bumped into a teenager I know, one that actually talks to adults.  I asked him how his day was.  “Awful” was his response.  He went on to explain how he has very strict teachers and it set the tone for the year.  My heart broke for him.  He’s a good kid.  A new school year should have new opportunities, but he was already struggling.  I then bumped into another mom, and I asked how her child did at school.  She also mentioned how her child, years ago, had experienced bullying.

Both conversations made me reflect on some of my first days of school.  I was not a popular kid.  I was the awkward, shy kid.  I didn’t grow up in a household that had extras.  New school clothes and supplies were purchased on a very tight and limited budget and that meant what was purchased was limited.  I was the kid that was excited for the first day of school but by the time I arrived home the excitement bubble had burst.  I carried the feeling of believing that I was less then. Peers that were mean and had harsh words for me are the interactions that stuck in my memory.  If there was a kind word shared with me, this is not what I remember.  These memories stay with us (therapy helps!!)

To the kids who had a rough day, know that it can get better.  To the adults that have kids who had a rough day, remember to support them. 

September is a fresh start, a time when new seeds are planted.  Often when we grow, this comes with growing pains. Those pains might look like struggles with new subjects or concepts, new peers, or social situations. 

Ask your kids the annoying questions, about every little detail, even when they don’t want to talk.  Remember to listen to them.  Remember to hug them.  Remember to love them and nurture them.  Remember to have patience with them.  I right this to remind you my reader, as much as it is to remind myself. 

Thank you to all the teachers and school administration who will spend many waking hours both in the classroom and outside the classroom to cultivate our children.

Here's to a new school year, new opportunities, a clean, fresh start.

Enjoying what you’re reading? Leave a comment below, connect with me on Facebook or send me a direct message. I love hearing from you. Your comments and messages keep me motivated. Keep the positive thoughts coming!

Filling My Joy Tank

Growing up somewhere along the line I was taught and came to believe that there were 3 necessities in life, food, clothing, and shelter.  When I taught my children to pray, it was “thank you god, for the roof over my head, the clothes on our back and the food on our plate”.  Then someone reminded me about a fourth necessity in life, joy.  Joy?  Yes, joy. 

Where food, clothing and shelter are necessities for my physical well-being, joy is a necessity for my mental health well-being.  Per the CDC website the definition for mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices.

Creating an environment of a welcoming home, with good food, good drinks, and good conversation, this sparks joy for me.  The joy of creating memorable moments with those that we love and hold closet to us.  Sitting around our table, sharing stories around a meal, laughing with old and new friends.  Sharing in the sorrows of our loved ones and offering comfort to them during difficult times, yes, that also brings joy in a different way.  It’s the joy in connection, the social well-being that I hold dear.

This is where I get real.  To get to this joy I need to work through my own hesitations.  I need to move out of my head and into actions.  Let me explain myself a bit here. I’m not comfortable cooking for others.  Yes, when you visit with me, please don’t expect a home cooked meal. I’m trying to find the joy in cooking, but I’m not there yet.  I order takeout 9 times out of 10 when hosting, the other 1 time, my husband steps up and cooks or grills.  I’m also very self-conscious about how clean my house is.  Yes, if I’m hosting a large gathering you better believe I’m paying to have someone else clean my house.  Those dirty or dusty spots that I have unintentionally turned a blind eye to, someone else will not miss. What else is on my mind, how does my house smell?  I’m worried that my house might have a funk that I’m not aware of because I live here.  Will I have a candle burning when you arrive, you betcha!

After I’ve moved past these hesitations and a few more, I find myself able to experience the joy.  This past week I was able to experience this joy not once but twice. I am thankful that I was able to fill my joy tank by spending time with friends and family enjoying some of the last great moments of summer, creating connections fills me with a feeling of happiness and satisfaction.  I am ready to head into the new week a little more prepared to handle stress and make healthy choices.

How about you?  I would love to hear what obstacles you might need to overcome, or what brings you to joy and fills your tank as we head into a new week?   Leave a comment below, connect with me on Facebook or send me a direct message.  I love hearing from you.  Your comments and messages bring me joy. Keep the positive thoughts coming!

The Unexpected Moments

It’s another quiet Sunday morning.  It’s super early, the sun has not come up yet.  I’m wrapping up a week of vacation.  A week of intentionally living unintentionally. 

When we planned this week of vacation our idea was to take a road trip, but our plans derailed only days prior, well, because life happens.  We were disappointed but I was determined to enjoy my week off from work.  Summers are short and as the kids get older the time with them becomes less and less.  They are also at an age where so many activities that interest mom and dad, do not hold their interest, they are lame.

This past week we slept in late, we had lazy mornings, we took our time.  We sat outside, read books, and I got some writing in.  We took afternoon trips to a museum, a whale watch, an escape room and more.  In the car, the radio was turned up and we sang off key to unexpected family favorites.  We played countless rounds of cards and board games.  We ate endless amounts of fried foods and ice cream cones.  We sat on our big family sofa together binge-watching television until we couldn’t keep our eyes open anymore. For the entire week we were on a rinse and repeat of relaxation, if it took effort, we tried to avoid it.

As a good friend of ours said the other day, here’s where the record scratches.  Let me be also real for a moment.  While we were all home for 7 days, on a daily basis the boys used every single cup leaving them scattered throughout the house with various amounts of liquid in them.  They made food, ate off plates and left a path of disaster behind them.  They had a lack of personal hygiene which required constant reminding, you will smell teenagers before you see them.  They started loads of laundry which were forgotten about multiple times. Imagine, gathering your dirty clothes, carrying the laundry basket to the machine, only to be horrified when opening the washing machine to the overpowering stench of wet clothes sitting in it for 24+ hours during an August heat wave.  These moments created a myriad of reminders (which were not friendly or kind), eyerolls, some yelling and let’s not leave out the door slamming, that bedroom door is likely to come off the hinges, again, in the very near future.

It's true, they drive us mad, my husband and I routinely do sanity checks to keep things in balance as best we can, we try and remind each other that this is our season of life, raising 2 teenage boys.  The week of vacation turned out ok, and you know what, reading what I just wrote, it turned out more than ok.   True it wasn’t what we had planned it be, we had our family moments, good and bad, and created beautiful memories in between.  Life happens and it’s in the unexpected moments where you can find true happiness.

So once again, I choose to focus on the happiness.  I choose to focus on the joy this past week brought me.  Have you had unexpected moment where you found happiness?  I’d love to hear from you.  Drop a note in the comments section below, direct message me using the Contact page or connect through the Facebook Group.

Happiness is an Inside Job…

“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.” ~Mandy Hale

My boys started a new camp this week. The camp offered 3 different programs The two that my boys attended and the third was Fashion Design and Jewelry Making.  This program was geared towards little ones.  The camp was made up of 5-10 girls all around the ages of 8-10 years old. 

We are experiencing a heat wave here, so today at pickup, I got out of my car and walked into the cool air-conditioned building.  As I walked in, it was super quiet.  You could hear a pin drop.  The other parents, who arrived before me, waiting, had their heads down in their phones (I’ve been guilty of this too), no one talking to each other.  The little girls from the Fashion Design and Jewelry Making camp came running across the courtyard and into the building, little balls of happy energy and excitement.  They were so joyful, eager to share with their adults the creations that they had made at camp today.  They had jewelry and each wore a camp shirt that had been uniquely cut, beaded, and bedazzled!  These little balls of happy energy filled the room that was only moments ago quiet and sterile.  It was hard not to smile at their delight and innocence.

On the car ride home, I mentioned my observation to my boys.  One of them snickered and said “really, mom?!”  Did you SEE what they made; it was awful!  This prompted me to ask them, and myself, where in life do we lose that joy?  Where and how between the ages of 8-10 and 12-14+ do we as human beings become soured, resentful, and pessimistic?  Yes, they are teenage boys, but as adults we can be guilty of the same negative thoughts. As I was driving, I shook my head. I thought about this further, somewhere between the teen years and the age of 40+ we realize we’ve lost that type of joy and we want it back!  Yes, I totally feel that way and I’m certain I’m not alone. Reader, are you with me?!

I don’t know about you, but I want that type of joy!  The kind where you are a happy ball of energy.  The kind of joy that fills a room and becomes contagious.  The kind of joy that changes your perspective on life and the world around you.

When I look at the last decade + of my life, life happens.  Stress happens.  We finish school, we need to get started on that career, for me that was corporate America.  I needed to develop myself, to work hard, I always had my foot on the gas pedal at full speed.  I wanted to be recognized at work, I was all in.  At the same time, I found love, so then we got married and started a family.  Oh wait, don’t forget we needed a place to live, so enter the mortgage and the vehicle to fit the family and all our stuff.  So, we worked harder to pay for all of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change any of it!  I LOVE my life, but the journey has been stressful, and I didn’t even recognize it.  It didn’t happen overnight; it was a slow build year over year.

Several weeks ago, when I started working with my professional coach, I had 3 goals.  My goals were to destress, increase my energy and develop my career.

 I’m happy to say that I’m hitting all 3 of these goals and I’m amazed at the progress!  I’m starting to find that kind of joy again.  I’m less stressed.  I have more energy.  How did I do it?  What’s my secret you might be wondering?  My job hasn’t changed, in fact it’s more demanding.  My kids haven’t changed, in fact it’s summer, so they’ve been home more, and home life is more demanding.  The bills haven’t reduced, in fact the cost of everything is increasing (forget about the grocery bill with 2 teenage boys).  I’d like to say that I’m exercising more or practicing yoga and breathing exercises, but the truth is, I’m not. What has changed is my mindset, and how I see things.  How I approach things.  How I show up.  I’m focusing more on the things that I value, the things that matter to me. This change in mindset, just writing that, brings a smile to face and a little tear to my eye and I know that the emotions I feel are complete joy.

I absolutely love my life and the little pieces of joy I find in each day. 

How do you see things?  How do you approach things?  How do you show up?  I would love to hear how you find joy in the little pieces of your life?  Leave a comment below, connect with me on Facebook or send me a direct message.  I love hearing from you, your comments and messages bring me joy. Keep the positive comments coming!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly…and The Good Again.

I sit in my living room, on a quiet Sunday morning.  I am coming off a week of vacation. 

Each summer we enjoy spending a few days in the North Conway area of the White Mountains.  We started this tradition many years ago when the kids were small, and the area keeps drawing us back.  There’s the vacation we plan in our heads, you know the one you post pictures of on social media, and then there is reality.

As a family we stopped at the Flume Gorge in Lincoln, NH.  The rocks, the greenery, the rushing water is all simply magical.  Something about those surroundings helps one to relax.  I snapped picture after picture along the way, working to somehow capture these moments and memories so they would not be forgotten with time. 

Flume Gorge, Lincoln, NH

I snapped picture after picture of the rocks, the greenery, the water, the mountains.  I took a few photos of the family too.  The boys were not in the same Zen space that I was in.  One of them complained and complained and complained with each and every step.  I took a photo of my family at the end, it was ugly, but it was reality.  It’s not likely a photo you will see posted on social media, but it’s my family and it’s where we are right now in this season of life.

We wrapped up the hike and drove to our accommodations.  Somehow between the time we left the Flume Gorge, drove through the Kancamagus highway and arriving in North Conway, the mood had changed, everyone was enjoying the day, a good day.  This rollercoaster of emotions continued throughout the remainder of the week. 

The night before we left, I was sitting outside Ben and Jerry’s enjoying an ice cream with the family.  I have a friend that lives in the North Conway area.  I hadn’t shared with anyone where we were.  I went back and forth in my own head if I should let her know I was there.  She had mentioned weeks prior that if I was in the area to let her know.  Admittedly this was a moment, where I needed to step outside of my comfort zone.  This was yet another situation where, although we were on a family vacation, with one vehicle, this was my thing.  My husband and the boys were not interested in any visits listening to two women catch up.  I had to move beyond the what ifs.  What if she didn’t have time, what if she did have time.  Where were we going to meet (I don’t enjoy navigating places that I haven’t been).  Self-doubt can take over, over the dumbest things.  These are all dumb things, yet they are still thoughts that hold me back.

I thought about my friend and decided to give it a shot and see what happened.  I sent her picture of where I was, and she immediately wanted to get together if I had time.  I said to myself, ok, let’s do this!  We made arrangements for her to pick me up early the next morning.  So, while the boys had a lazy morning, I got up early, enjoyed a GORGEOUS sunrise over the mountains and was able to catch up, in person, with someone I hadn’t seen (in person) in ages! 

Here is an example whereby getting out of my own head and stepping outside of my comfort zone I was able to create joy in my life.  This meet up with a friend was one of the things that made my day great.  When I can surround myself with positive people, people with good energy and friends who want to connect and accept me for who I am, these are the people I want in my circle.

These encounters are the ones that fill my cup up so when I have to get back to reality, the reality of raising two teenage boys, who think their life is hard (and believe me, it’s not) I have a well of energy to draw from.

On this beautiful Sunday, as I enjoy the afternoon ahead of me, my last moments of vacation, I reflect back on the week behind me.  I wasn’t working, as a family we were not scheduled.  I was able to do some reading, I did some writing, I laughed with my family and enjoyed mother nature too. No, the week was not perfect, but it was perfect for me. 

What fills your cup? I’d love to hear in the comments below, or check out my new Contact Me page and send me a note.

Relaxing….

On Saturday my husband and I sat on our back deck, we had just finished breakfast (Micky waffles).  The weather was beautiful.  The boys were nowhere to be found.  It was just he and I and a few birds chirping off in the distance.  It was quiet.  We had nowhere to be.  I sat across from him, under the shade of our umbrella.  He asked me what was wrong.  This question puzzled me.  “Nothing’s wrong” I replied.  He pressed me.  I was being honest and quite confused by his question.  I told him that I was just sitting there relaxing with him.  He laughed at me, I smiled at him and was curious what he was laughing about.  He said something to the effect of “Relaxing hurts”. We both had a good laugh.

He was right.  In that moment relaxing did hurt.  Have I mentioned that my husband KNOWS me?  My husband is the type of person that can truly shut down and relax.  I envy him sometimes.  When I sit still, quiet, at home, my brain takes off.  I start running the “to-do” list in my head.  I not only start to run the “to-do” list, instinctively I begin working on the most efficient way to execute these tasks.  Let me give you an example related to household chores.  If I need to do laundry, empty and/or load the dishwasher and I want to run the Roomba to vacuum the house, I will kick off the Roomba first, because I know that will take an hour to run.  Then I start the load of the laundry, because I know that one load takes about 45-minutes, then I empty and/or load the dishwasher.  I approach things from a time management standpoint.  What will take the longest duration versus which task might be the quickest.  Reader, I’m not executing these tasks yet, I’m just thinking about them.  Anyone feeling relaxed yet?

I take solace in the fact that I’m self-aware about my behavior.  I can spiral.  I can get lost in these thoughts.  The example I provided above is short.  I have been known for this list to become long.  I think about all the appointments I need to make, the things around the house that need to be repaired, the errands I need to run, the errands I should run.  The friends I should reach out to, and on and on and on.  This approach is not always healthy.  There are times when I recognize my stress levels increasing.  I’m sitting there, stewing, thinking about everything I need to do, but I’m not doing any of them.  When I find myself in this state, I use Mel Robbins exercise of a brain dump.  I write everything down on a piece of paper.  Everything that I’m thinking about.  Reader, this can sometimes be pages.  I get it all out of my head.  This helps me to stop stressing and prioritize what needs to be done.  Once I do this, I can quiet my thoughts, breathe a little deeper, sit and be still, be in the moment with those that I love, I can genuinely relax.

I would love to hear how you destress, to be in the moment with the ones you love.  Comment in the section below.

Art Should Make You Feel Something.

I read something today that really resonated with me

“….art should make you feel something.”

About 2 months ago I started working with a professional coach to develop myself.  I entered the relationship with an open mind and an open heart.  At the time of writing this blog I am just past the halfway point of a 12-week journey.  I am amazed at the progress that I have made.  How differently I approach situations both professionally and personally.

I have completed several exercises with her to identify how I am perceived, how I show up, more importantly, what I value.  There are times when we are comfortable in life and in order to grow, we need to become uncomfortable.  Talking about myself to someone else, what I do well, where I struggle, really, truly reflecting on ME, that’s uncomfortable. 

One of the exercises I did was to identify 3 adjectives that describe me.  I sat with that question for more than a moment and I struggled with this.  She sent me away with the homework assignment and told me to ask my husband.  So, I did.  The first adjective he used to describe me, BLEW ME AWAY!  In fact, it’s one of the reasons I started this blog.  He said I was creative.  He knew what my response would be (we’ve been together for 20+ years, he KNOWS me).  He further added that he wasn’t thinking of creative the way I was thinking of creative.  I think of creative as painting, sculpting, things that involve hot glue guns and messy activities.  I have a sister that is quite talented in the creative department.  I’ve always admired her talents and skills.  I just don’t have those skills, that’s not me.  I didn’t see myself as creative.

My husband said that I was creative with my words.  The way I can shape a story.  In that moment my heart was melted, and my mind was blown.  He was right.  I just needed the push and the courage to do something with this creativity.  When I reported back to my professional coach, we dug into that a bit, working towards what I would write.  We tossed around a few ideas, and she asked if I had ever thought about a blog.  My mind was blown once again.  My facial expressions always give me away.  I can only image what my face looked like in that moment.  The cat that swallowed the canary.

I had thought often about a blog.  I just never had the courage to go for it.  Have I mentioned how scary it is to write your thoughts into words and then share it with people?  What if people don’t like it, what if people don’t agree with it, what if people judge me, what if….?! 

What if I encourage someone, what if I motivate someone, what if I spark emotion in someone?  Then it’s all worth it.  I just need to continue to be brave, to get outside of my head and push forward.  One reader shared with me that they shed a few tears while reading my post.  My response to them was that I know it’s a good post when I shed a few tears while writing. 

I am creative.  What if my art, this blog, should make YOU feel something?  If that happens, I’ve done what I’ve set out to do. 

I would love to hear from you.  Drop a note in the comments below, what have you felt, what do you want to be brave about, what is your art?

….don’t forget to signup for notifications to the next post below.

Daily Affirmations, These Things are HARD!

A couple of months ago a good friend sent me “The Five Minute Journal”.  I have fallen head over heels with this.  Well maybe not head over heels, but seriously it’s a simple concept that changed my outlook on how I approach a day.

Each day starts off with 3 things “I am grateful for…”, identifying 3 things that make today great, and 2 daily affirmations.  Ugh!  Daily affirmations, these things are HARD!  I’m getting better at it, but for me when I started doing this it evoked a strong feeling of discomfort. 

For today’s post, I’ll share one of yesterday’s affirmations.  “Positive thoughts create positive energy”.  While I wish I could say I thought good thoughts all day, the reality is I live with a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old.  God help me (seriously).  We planned a day of early 4th of July celebrations with family, but we had to get out of the house first.  I joked with my neighbor that I’m surprised she didn’t hear me from her house.  While my husband and I busted our tail trying to pack up food, make sure the house was picked up and get ourselves put together, the boys decided to fight and irritate each other as well as us.  They yelled at each other, my husband I and yelled at them.  Each moment brought increasing layers of hostility.  I’ll even share that one moment I had a small anxiety attack where I couldn’t breathe.  Somehow, we pulled it together and made it out of the house resembling a happy family.

Once we made it to the lake, “Positive thoughts create positive energy” started to kick in, unconsciously.  The sun was shining.  We setup our chairs in the cool lake water and soaked up the early July sunshine. The weather was perfect. We were surrounded by family, taking a day out of our varied busy lives for a moment of connection.  Although we are family, we are a large family (my husband is one of seven children), we have countless nieces and nephews who now have significant others.  Having most of us together is a rare opportunity these days.  We did our best to sit and chat with as many people as possible and catch up on life and the different activities happening within each of our families.  Before we knew it the day was over, at least this leg of it was.  We said our good-byes and drove home to begin the evening activities. 

“Positive thoughts create positive energy”.  My husband has never been one for fireworks.  I enjoy them.  I had made plans with friends to enjoy our local town fireworks.  As simple as this sounds, this was pretty big for me.  I didn’t sign the entire family up for this outing.  I signed me up.  My neighbor and good friend asked if I had planned on going to the fireworks.  Why, yes!  Yes, I will go.  We made it home from our day trip just in time to meet up with friends.  I met up with our neighbors and one of my sons came along.  It was a beautiful evening.  I enjoyed the time with friends, the town fireworks and watching my son spend time with his friends.  Friendships are important.  They are important for mental health and emotional connection.

Why do I share this?  Why have I chosen to blog, to be vulnerable and put my thoughts into words to share with you, my reader?  I share because I want to take the taboo out feeling less then.  Less than enough, less than in control, less than, you fill-in the blank.  It’s ok to feel less than.  It’s important to find the strength to move out of the less than.  Life is not perfect.  Life is often times hard.  No matter how easy some make it look, we all go through it the self-doubt.  Reader, I encourage you to be brave and push past the self-doubt, get out of your head.  You can do it!

“Positive thoughts create positive energy”.  What positive thoughts do you want to focus on today? Share int he comments section below.

The Magic of June, July and August…..

Nobska Lighthouse - Woods Hole

Since Friday, 6/24/22, my heart has been heavy.  I’ve gone back and forth on what this post should be about.  My country is in a dark place right now.  When I think about the political climate, I find myself grieving.  In this moment I need to choose my feelings.  I choose to hold off writing about the recent Supreme Court decision.  I choose to think, focus, and write about joyful things.

I am thankful to live in New England.  A place where we are fortunate to experience all seasons.   

Last week was the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.  My aunt posted pictures on social media where she celebrated this with friends.  I thought how lovely that is.  Taking a moment to celebrate the simple things with friends.  I have learned that friendships are important.  Friendships can be healing.  Although the summer solstice marks the longest day of the year and the days begin to get shorter from here, the daylight hours are still stretched and that combined with warm weather makes the perfect background to create beautiful new summer memories.

I thought I’d share the moments of summer that bring me joy.  Lazy, relaxing weekends.  Time to visit with friends and family and enjoy pools, BBQs, and great summer tunes.  The splashing sound of the pool water when someone does a cannonball into the water.  Endless amounts of hamburgers, hotdogs and corn on the cob.  Time to sit in the shade and get lost in great novels with settings like Nantucket.  Listening to the joy and laughter of kids who have no worries on their minds, no homework assignments due and no scheduled activities planned.

Warm summer days to grab the perfect spot on my favorite beach.  Walking along the shore, feet in the cold water, talking about nothing and everything all at the same time.  Smelling the salty ocean breeze, feeling my breath relax and slow, the way my skin feels as the water dries off my legs. 

Sitting with my husband as we enjoy one of our favorite summer treats, lobsta and steamers (no that’s not a typo, I’m from Boston).  How about food trucks, miniature golf and the first ice cream cone of the year. 

Road trips with a great play list, spontaneous family sing-alongs, camping, campfires and roasting marshmallows.  The smell of sunscreen and bug spray.  Enjoying the lakes and hikes in the mountains.  Roadside picnics along the Kancamagus Highway, finding the perfect spot to sit on a boulder in the Swift River. 

Summer concerts, outdoor music.  Enjoying a cool beverage on a hot day.

Going for sunset walks, letting the kids stay up late to watch movies, fireflies and flashlight tag. Sitting on the front porch with a glass of wine and watching the sunset with my husband.

This is what summers are made for.  For kids to feel like kids, and adults to reminisce, create new memories and to simply breathe.  To stray from routines and enjoy the simple moments of life.

What summer moments and wonderful memories do you cherish?  Share your thoughts in the comments below.

In Celebration of Pride Month

About a month ago I read “I Take My Coffee Black” by Tyler Merritt of the Tyler Merritt Project.  This book is amazing!  I learned so much!  Tyler made a YouTube video this month that inspired this post.

When I think back on my journey of life so far, I don’t have many regrets.  Don’t get me wrong I’ve made mistakes along the way, but those mistakes were learning or growth opportunities. 

I do have one regret.  First let me give you a little back story, picture it, Sicily (no just kidding!).  But seriously, in the early 90’s I was a teenager.  A teenager who was shall I say was a little awkward.  I had so many hang-ups about myself, too many to name.   I had a hard time making and keeping friends.  I spent much of my social time in a church environment.  Surrounded by Christians.  Have you figured out where this post is going? I trusted the people around me.  There are many teachings and lessons I learned by the Christians that surrounded that I still hold near and dear to my heart. 

My faith at the time taught me that homosexuality was a sin. It was the 90’s, I grew up in a small city, I was sheltered. This was before the internet. I don’t think I knew anyone that was gay.  Well, let me rephrase that, I knew gay people, I just didn’t know they were gay.  I judged gay people and if I had known you were gay, I would likely have tried to change you.  Ugh!  Just writing that makes me cringe. As a teen I was so righteous.  I look back and I’m embarrassed at who I was. 

This part of my faith has changed.  I believe God loves everyone and accepts everyone for who they are and that includes the entire LGBTQIA+ community. 

I want to use this post to say…

I’m sorry for who I was, what I thought and how I acted. 

I was wrong. 

I was wrong to judge.

I was wrong to want to change you. 

To my friends, to my family, to my readers, to anyone part of the LGBTQIA+ community know that….

I accept you today for you who you are.

I do not want to change you but embrace you.

I celebrate you during pride month and every other month of the year.

I want nothing from you, just for you know that I have come to my senses.

Reader, I want you to also know that while there are many Christians that still do not accept the LGBTQIA+ community there are also Christians who embrace this community.  I’m thankful that I was able to find a Christian community that taught me differently.  That opened my eyes, so that I can teach my children differently.  We love you and can be a safe place for you.

I’d love to hear if anyone else that has gone through a similar journey of self-reflection and self-correction. Have you taken the opportunity to apologize?  I encourage you to drop a positive, loving comment below.

Reflections on Father’s Day

For years I envied the relationship that others had with their father’s.  When I was a little girl I would see t-shirts, mugs, and other tchotchkes with catch phrases like “anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad”.  I would witness friends, and extended family refer to their daughter’s as “daddy’s girl”.  I admired these relationships as if I was longing for a dress, I couldn’t afford through a store front window.  The problem was, no matter how much I saved up for that dress it was not available for purchase. The relationship that I craved between myself and my father, was never going to happen. 

As I grew up and entered my twenties and thought about my future, I never saw myself as a mom.  My older sister had a child and then a second, and I was quite happy being an aunt.  I loved her children, spoiled them with attention and gifts, and loved every moment of it.  I was content in this role and never had a plan or a desire for children.

Then I met my husband.  On a few of our first dates we talked about the future (the far-off future), he wanted kids and I was very clear that I did not.  20 plus years later I am a mom of two.  You may be wondering what happened or what changed?  I fell in love and realized it wasn’t that I didn’t want children, I just hadn’t met the right person in my early twenties to have children with. 

My husband is a kind, patient, loving, caring, and giving individual.  He would do anything for his family.  You might say the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.  My husband’s dad, Bill, was another amazing dad.  He raised 7 kids with love.  I met Bill a few months into dating my husband.  I experienced Bill’s love quickly.  He was a humble, generous man, who would welcome you into his home, offer you a cold drink, pick you up or drive you anywhere no matter the time of the day or night.  He passed away several years ago and his legacy of love continues through his children and grandchildren. 

Although I do not personally have a relationship filled with love with my own birth father, over the course of my adult life I have experienced fatherly love through others and for that I am grateful and incredibly blessed.

If you enjoyed my writing, leave a comment below on how you relate to this post. Your feedback is encouragement for future posts!