Relaxing….
On Saturday my husband and I sat on our back deck, we had just finished breakfast (Micky waffles). The weather was beautiful. The boys were nowhere to be found. It was just he and I and a few birds chirping off in the distance. It was quiet. We had nowhere to be. I sat across from him, under the shade of our umbrella. He asked me what was wrong. This question puzzled me. “Nothing’s wrong” I replied. He pressed me. I was being honest and quite confused by his question. I told him that I was just sitting there relaxing with him. He laughed at me, I smiled at him and was curious what he was laughing about. He said something to the effect of “Relaxing hurts”. We both had a good laugh.
He was right. In that moment relaxing did hurt. Have I mentioned that my husband KNOWS me? My husband is the type of person that can truly shut down and relax. I envy him sometimes. When I sit still, quiet, at home, my brain takes off. I start running the “to-do” list in my head. I not only start to run the “to-do” list, instinctively I begin working on the most efficient way to execute these tasks. Let me give you an example related to household chores. If I need to do laundry, empty and/or load the dishwasher and I want to run the Roomba to vacuum the house, I will kick off the Roomba first, because I know that will take an hour to run. Then I start the load of the laundry, because I know that one load takes about 45-minutes, then I empty and/or load the dishwasher. I approach things from a time management standpoint. What will take the longest duration versus which task might be the quickest. Reader, I’m not executing these tasks yet, I’m just thinking about them. Anyone feeling relaxed yet?
I take solace in the fact that I’m self-aware about my behavior. I can spiral. I can get lost in these thoughts. The example I provided above is short. I have been known for this list to become long. I think about all the appointments I need to make, the things around the house that need to be repaired, the errands I need to run, the errands I should run. The friends I should reach out to, and on and on and on. This approach is not always healthy. There are times when I recognize my stress levels increasing. I’m sitting there, stewing, thinking about everything I need to do, but I’m not doing any of them. When I find myself in this state, I use Mel Robbins exercise of a brain dump. I write everything down on a piece of paper. Everything that I’m thinking about. Reader, this can sometimes be pages. I get it all out of my head. This helps me to stop stressing and prioritize what needs to be done. Once I do this, I can quiet my thoughts, breathe a little deeper, sit and be still, be in the moment with those that I love, I can genuinely relax.
I would love to hear how you destress, to be in the moment with the ones you love. Comment in the section below.
