Reflections on Father’s Day

For years I envied the relationship that others had with their father’s.  When I was a little girl I would see t-shirts, mugs, and other tchotchkes with catch phrases like “anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad”.  I would witness friends, and extended family refer to their daughter’s as “daddy’s girl”.  I admired these relationships as if I was longing for a dress, I couldn’t afford through a store front window.  The problem was, no matter how much I saved up for that dress it was not available for purchase. The relationship that I craved between myself and my father, was never going to happen. 

As I grew up and entered my twenties and thought about my future, I never saw myself as a mom.  My older sister had a child and then a second, and I was quite happy being an aunt.  I loved her children, spoiled them with attention and gifts, and loved every moment of it.  I was content in this role and never had a plan or a desire for children.

Then I met my husband.  On a few of our first dates we talked about the future (the far-off future), he wanted kids and I was very clear that I did not.  20 plus years later I am a mom of two.  You may be wondering what happened or what changed?  I fell in love and realized it wasn’t that I didn’t want children, I just hadn’t met the right person in my early twenties to have children with. 

My husband is a kind, patient, loving, caring, and giving individual.  He would do anything for his family.  You might say the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.  My husband’s dad, Bill, was another amazing dad.  He raised 7 kids with love.  I met Bill a few months into dating my husband.  I experienced Bill’s love quickly.  He was a humble, generous man, who would welcome you into his home, offer you a cold drink, pick you up or drive you anywhere no matter the time of the day or night.  He passed away several years ago and his legacy of love continues through his children and grandchildren. 

Although I do not personally have a relationship filled with love with my own birth father, over the course of my adult life I have experienced fatherly love through others and for that I am grateful and incredibly blessed.

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